On Dreams, Desires and Goals
(and uh, oh ya, …disappointment)
Dream: vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie / an aspiration; goal; aim / a wild or vain fantasy
Desire: to wish or long for; crave; want / to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request / a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment
GOAL: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end
Don’t want to get overly metaphysical/spiritual here. That stuff is all so personal and subject to interpretation. It’s ok to go there in therapy (individual or group) but usually doesn’t translate well to online communication; I’m guessing most of us have had experience with email misunderstandings?
I mentioned in a previous post that I was never big on structure. In the same way I’ve never been one for setting goals; as in writing them down and reviewing and focusing on them regularly. I never really understood why this never appealed to me and it kind of made me feel like the odd-man-out. After all, as kids, almost everyone seemed to have some kind of semi-realistic dream or goal of what, or who, they wanted to be when they grew up. I wanted to be either Superman or Green Lantern; I knew that was never going to happen.
Is Setting Goals all it’s cracked up to be?
I never thought that much about the future; even though I’d heard all my adult life about the need for everyone to do so.
You MUST Plan for Your Future young man!
And, if you didn’t, it was implied there was something wrong or lacking in you [ugh, I can feel that yucky sinking feeling in me as I type]. Was there something wrong with me? Was I lacking something in some way?
Then there was self-sabotaging! I don’t really subscribe to that theory either. I think of our resistances to change as pretty much a natural part of growth.
I digress; maybe self-sabotage vs resistance is a topic for another post?
~ Then, I’m left with the question [you’d think I’d leave well-enough-alone] how did I end up where I am today, at such a young age? {I’m told it all the time, how young I look and act… really, I am.}
My point is that, after all is said and done, I’ve pretty much turned out to be someone I kinda like. Perhaps even the person I’ve always wanted to be? Some/most days I do like and – dare I say it! – maybe even love myself and my life. And, I don’t recall making a lot of Plans or Goals to get here.
I see myself as having made choices along the way to do things I wanted to do at the time. Certainly some of those choices were better than others, and there are still things I want to have-do-&-be. It’s impossible to say how different everything would be if I had done more Goal Setting — and, once again, as I’m typing, I’m realizing I don’t have much interest in putting time and energy into pondering that question.
Choices…again, perhaps a topic for another post… or not? After all, there is a limit to self-disclosure… and identities to be respected and protected… and perhaps even apologies to be made… and… Oh, never mind, I’ve said enough.
I think it was The Buddha that said Desire was the cause of all suffering? Even though I spent much of my youth [not that I’m old now mind you] denying myself many things, I don’t think I agree with that either. I seem to have grown gracefully into my desires. I now might even consider them a STRENGTH.
| I don’t seem to be agreeing with very much do I?
When is my next therapy appointment? |
My intent here is not to disparage or undermine Goal Setting & Strategies in any way. I think they work really well for many people. I have listened to many speakers {lots on YouTube} who I quite like. They are smart, articulate, authentic, admirable professionals who believe, live by and succeed (by their definition of that word) with their teachings. They come across as well-adjusted enough [probably have their own ‘demons & stuff‘ like most of us] and overall, I like what they are teaching — it all seems like a useful enough strategy and practice.
I just don’t personally resonate with it — and that’s ok. And, if that is resistance on my part, that’s ok. It’s taken me a while (even though I am still quite young) to get here – it’s ok. In this moment I feel some relief letting that sink in even a little further… it’s all ok,
B r e a t h e,
It’s ok…
Was that a bit too touchy feely?
Whether it was or not, I am starting to wonder if in fact I have grown into my own versions of Superman and Green Lantern after all?
I’m feelin’ a segue into another post coming on…
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Below is a link to yet another take on Goal Setting from Abraham Hicks: a woman who *channels a group of entities who call themselves Abraham and gives talks and answers peoples’ questions – usually in large group settings – about how to live life in accord with Source Energy
***https://youtu.be/tBwv-3M5WKw***
*Oops – I did promise earlier I wasn’t going to get metaphysical/spiritual didn’t I.
Oh well, never mind — I have my therapy appointment next week.