Procrastination ⇒Reboot | It’s a Good thing!
A new model for procrastination ⇒ a 3 min. read
I read all kinds of posts about the problems with procrastination. How to deal with it / how to fix it / how to manage it / how to avoid it / how to stop it / how to structure it into your schedule…etc. etc.
Well none of them have really worked all that well – or even at all – for me. I’m guessing that there must be some of you out there that have tried some of these suggestions and found them useful. I would love to hear from you if you have actually tried and implemented any that have worked. Let me know.
I’m currently experimenting with a new approach. I call it the:
If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em // what you resist persists // resistance is futile // go with the flow // love it ‘till you hate it // hate it ’till you love it // enough of a ‘good/bad’ thing // nothing lasts forever // the only thing to fear is fear itself // ‘be'(procrastination), not ‘do'(something to fix it) // change is a constant – it’s inevitable – eventually // paradoxical theory of change // I give up // I surrender // self-love-self-acceptance approach.
I think none of the other approaches have really worked all that well for me because, by their very nature, they set-up a battle, winner-loser mentality right from the start; and I always lost. It’s something that has never worked well for me. I’m guessing it does for some.
Good-bad, right-wrong, should-shouldn’t, like-dislike, smart-stupid, productive-unproductive, better-worse; these are judgements, criticisms, self-deprecations and false ego-boosters we say to ourselves that could actually keep us stuck, rather than helping us free ourselves from the uncomfortable feelings we experience when we label ourselves as evil–procrastinators*. Or label ourselves as superior-admirable-good doers (i.e. non-procrastinators). Either of these labels or roles can be equally not-helpful and even damaging. And both come with their own specific feeling-states.
If your feelings are at the good feeling end of the spectrum then you are probably not even reading this article – and that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are behaving in an authentic state of self-love and acceptance. ⇒ Take note any work-a-holics out there! …but, that’s for another post.
At the end of the day, it’s the feeling that is the most important thing to us. We either want to get rid of the ‘I’m a (bad) prorastinator’ feeling or we want to keep the ‘I’m a good non-procrastinator’ feeling. Feelings in and of themselves are neither good nor bad. They can certainly be pleasant or unpleasant and wanted or unwanted – but not good or bad. They are just feelings; temporary, ultimately manageable and useful sources of information.
From these feeling places we might ask:
When did I (a) first and (b) last notice this feeling?
What do I associate with this feeling?
Where do I go with this feeling – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
How do I express, avoid, numb, bury, hide or habituate this feeling?
Hint: patterns, habits, addictions (we all have at lest one favourite)
Usually these lines of questioning will unearth lots of useful conscious and unconscious material to work with; either alone, with an understanding friend/partner or preferably [my bias], with your therapist. If you must ask the Why question, leave this as a last resort. The why questions bring you back to the hamster wheel of your head while the other lines of questioning help bring you to the fresh, powerful and direct insights of your body-mind awareness, understanding and knowing.
As I said, I am currently experimenting with this new approach. The most recent, and immediate success of this approach is this post. It naturally surfaced into my awareness shortly after a familiar period of procrastination. The only difference this time was that I gave myself a bit more permission to procrastinate, I eased up on the beating-myself-up-about-it part. And the result was the pretty easy, enjoyable and (for me) satisfying writing of this article. Hey, it’s a start!